Conditioning

For the last few years, I’ve been in a process of what I call de-conditioning myself of any kind of thought/ belief that is not serving my growth or not enabling me to go in the direction I want to go towards.

For example, growing up I heard many sentences diminishing men like Men are all the same and not seeing or hearing much about healthy/ happy relationships. One day while watching an interview with Gabby Bernstein, something clicked. I realized that I was also constantly saying those kind of sentences and my love life sucked. Gabby was saying something along those lines: if you constantly say things like: I cannot find anyone, relationships between men and women never work out, etc. the Universe will prove you right by providing those kinds of situations again and again. So after that video, every time I caught myself saying this kind of sentences I rephrased them with a positive version that went in the direction I wanted them to go towards: find a great partner. It only took a few months until I met my now husband. True story.

This sh** is powerful!

So on a daily basis I do my best to be aware of my thoughts & words and rephrase if needed, write affirmations, meditate, visualize, work on blocks/ wounds, etc. to get to where I want to be in life and I help my Coachees do the same.

I looooove identifying conditioned thoughts/ beliefs and working on them. It’s my world.

So let me tell you how big of a surprise it was when I started working with teenagers last week!!!

I saw the other side of the coin for the first time! Young humans who were fully in the conditioning process. What a shock! It brought up a whole bunch of different emotions. One of them was anger. I was angry at society, angry at them for not knowing better, angry at social media platforms and smartphone makers for being so addictive and giving those kids zero attention span and angry at brands for brainwashing them really well with things they think they want. I was also surprised to find out that when I asked them WHY they liked what they liked, they couldn’t tell me. They didn’t know how it made them feel.

Now, as a podcaster, coach and genuinely curious person, asking questions is one of my favorite hobby! Especially the ones that starts with why and the ones that go like: how do you feel? I constantly ask myself and my Coachees: why do you want what you want? Why do you do what you do? Again it’s my world! But they really hate answering because it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Going home, I asked myself: was I like that too?

Most probably, I just don’t remember!

What I do remember is that it was very important to belong, to be dressed a certain way, behave a certain way, hang out with specific people, etc.

So it’s only normal that they want the brands that everybody else has because it makes them feel like they belong to the tribe.

My anger then turned into compassion, it must be hard to be a kid these days with all those new things they have to deal with, aka, the digital world. I’m so glad smartphones and Facebook didn’t exist when I grew up!

Also what gave me hope was when I kept asking one of the kids why he thought that money makes you happy, at some point he answered: when you have a lot of money, it makes you relax. Bingo! I thought. I don’t think he really paid attention to what he or I was saying but I thought that maybe if I keep asking the questions they don’t like, just maybe they could become more aware and start the de-conditioning process a little earlier ;)

If you are a parent reading this, I invite you to notice the kind of sentences you keep repeating when you talk to your kids and wonder if it’s serving them/ you. I also invite you to ask: why do you do/like that? How does it make you feel?

May the force be with you!