Slow living & love making
We are all familiar with the slow living concept. My definition of it: slowing down and creating space to come back to what is essential in your life, to live healthier and happier. More about the whole movement here
We are also all familiar with the love making concept and I don’t need to give a definition ;)
This post is for couples who have been together for a while, live together and have a routine. I write from my perspective & experience as well as my friends’ who are women in long-term healthy heterosexual / monogamous relationships. No relationship is the same and what works for some might not work for others but maybe the tools below will help you too!
I think we can all remember the beginnings of romantic relationships. It is super exciting, all we can think about is that new special being in our life and we forget everything else! So of course getting & staying in the mood is easy!
And slowly though routines start getting the best of us! We start taking the other one for granted and instead of only thinking of that special being - who is now next to us 24/7 - we rather think of all our worries and things on our to-do list even (especially) during what is supposed to be a time of deep connection!
Be warned, I’m going to write in generalities here. But I will add ‘I think’ for good measure :P
I think women are great at keeping an eye on everything. They think of it all: the laundry, the grocery list, the kids & husband’s lunch, work, her hobbies and everyone else’s. It’s like we have a little computer in our brain that is ON all the time. And it seems that men have an easier time pressing pause and being in the moment.
I really believe that it’s not that women have less sexual desire than men, but because their brain doesn’t know the PAUSE button of their thoughts (even experienced meditators), it takes more time for us to unplug and come into our bodies! Hence be in THE mood.
That’s where slow living comes into play: taking the time to take time for what matters! You are free to make it look like whatever you both want and need. What I recommend: scheduling enough (a lot of) time to include, during foreplay, some exercises that will allow you to press that PAUSE button like a massage, a bath, some yoga, a body scan, meditation, essential oils, again whatever works for you!
What helped me the most the other day was to imagine that my head goes into my heart (I never noticed how only 1 letter changes between head and heart! Did you?) meaning that all my worries and thoughts go into my heart where a higher intelligence takes over. It’s something I do also when I’m confused and think about the same topic over and over again without knowing an answer, I imagine that my head goes into my heart and I instantly feel better!
In conclusion : Time + Relaxation = better connection to yourself and others
If you found that topic interesting, stay tuned for more content about it!
Happy time taking!
