How to make decisions

One of the things that initially inspired me to write about this topic was a friend of mine sending me a picture of a book a few weeks ago. The book’s title read: The decision book. And the message said: ‘a book for you!’ I replied: ‘hahaha I own that book already because my sisters got me that gift for Christmas a few years ago!’

And then it got me thinking: do I actually need to read that book? Maybe that’s a sign from the Universe to finally start reading it! Maybe I will find something useful in it for some major life decisions I need to make?! Like having children or not…

So I went to the basement, where I store the books I don’t want to read but also don’t want to throw out, hoping I would still find it. I did. Went back into the kitchen and opened it to a random page.

This book was full of SWOT analysis, graphs and diagrams. So very pragmatic ways of taking decisions. I understood why I had never opened it. To me it didn’t make any sense to make decisions this way. And if you are not the graph kind of person either and yet you always hesitate between left and right, pizza or sushi, what follows might be useful for you ;)

It’s not always been easy for me to make decisions, I’m a libra, so I never knew whether to buy that pair of pants or rather another pair or nothing at all?! Do I like this or do I like that?! What do I want?! And apparently people were noticing, hence the gift and message!

But with practice and tools, it’s becoming easier and easier!

Before I share what has helped me: think about the times you had to make important or small decisions like buying a house or choosing what you will eat for lunch. What is your decision-making-process? Did you start a list of pros & cons, did you compare prices, did you listen to your gut feeling, did you ask your friends what they would do if they were you? There is no right or wrong answer, just notice what you did/do.  

In the last few years, I’ve been practicing making decisions guided by my body/ intuition and this is what I’d like to share with you because it is a really beautiful process!

I remember listening to Marie Forleo years ago, talking about her decision-making-process and for her it either felt expansive or contracted. At the time, I couldn’t necessarily feel it but with practice it started to make sense.

Some of us can feel it in our gut, our heart, some people get goosebumps or shivers, some hear things or get a visual, I’m sure there are dozens of ways to know/ feel with our bodies.

I can give you an example of how I recently felt a strong no and a strong yes.

The strong no: a friend of a friend who wanted to take conversation classes with me but didn’t want to pay my full rate. I first agreed to doing it because she was a friend of a friend but as I was agreeing on the phone, I felt a strong twist in my stomach as well as a pull backwards as I was walking forward, so that was my sign to say no, which I ended up doing.

The strong yes: when Bianca and I visited our current office, we didn’t have to sleep over it. Simply chatting over a coffee was enough to then walk back to the space and sign the contract. A strong yes is a hell yes!

So if you haven’t started already, I invite you to tune into your body next time you need to make a decision. Pay attention to what its telling you and if you don’t feel/hear/see anything at the beginning, it’s okay, it’s a practice!

Also something that might help and that’s totally underrated these days, is to TAKE YOUR TIME to decide! Sometimes making what feels like the right decisions can be a process and could take a few hours, weeks, months or years sometimes!

Personally, every time I wanted to take a major training or course in my life (Yoga YTT, Holistic Health Coaching, Cranio-Sacral Therapy), I needed years to find the right one and right time. But once I found the right fit, I instantly knew!

Did you have similar experiences? Sometimes you instantly knew and sometimes it was a huge process? How did it feel? Do you remember? How did you know?

And last but not least: do you make decision based on fear or love? 

Let me explain: do you choose to do something in particular because you feel really drawn towards it ? You feel inspired, you really want to do that thing OR you choose to avoid something that MIGHT happen in the future? 

For example, do you invest in crypto because you are scared that the banking system is going to collapse and everybody tells you to do so OR you really feel that it’s the right choice for you, that it feels aligned with your values and beliefs? No judgement here, simply something to be aware of ;)

And same for your time, your work, the people you hang out with, the places you go to, it works for everything! Again no judgment, just observation!

Oh actually I have one last very useful tool! Probably my favorite!

Sometimes, when you really don’t know which way to go, when you are totally hopeless, when you don’t feel any kind of guidance from your body: you can give up your dilemma to something higher - Universe, Source, whomever resonates with you - and it / they will take care of it and you don’t need to worry about finding THE answer anymore! My coach often says: ‘we often think it’s either option A or option B but there are so many more letters in the alphabet and we are not even aware they exist. So by given it up, you open yourself for option C or D… all the way to Z. And chances are, that third option, you haven’t thought of, will be one that is the most aligned for you!’

Now what happened to ‘the decision book’ you might wonder?! Well I put it on the street ;)

To sum up: 

1. Tune into your body for small everyday-life decisions like food choices or shopping and observe what happens in your body and if nothing happens remember it’s a practice. 

2. Observe how the body guides you: is it by feeling, hearing, seeing or a combination? 

3. Maybe your decision needs time, allow yourself to take it!

4. Ask yourself: do I choose based on fear or love?

5. When you have no clue what the next step is, give it up to something higher and wait for the answer!

Thank you for reading, let me know if this resonated or if you have questions!

 Have a great time wherever you are!